What is the best way to deal with PAS?

The parents I know who were successful in getting primary custody of their children in a PAS situation shared the following characteristics:

They completed a comprehensive parenting course such as Breakthrough Parenting, and stuck with it until they rated excellent in the knowledge, skills and methods taught. Their parenting skills became superior.

They were even-tempered, logical and kept their emotions under control. They never retaliated. A person who reacts in anger is proving the alienator's point that he or she is unstable.

They certainly thought of giving up but never did. No matter how awful the harassment got, they worried about leaving their daughter or son in that environment. They were driven to continue trying to get the court to understand the seriousness of the issues and to change primary custody to them.

They were willing and able to go to the financial expense of seeing it through.

They got help from a skilled family lawyer who had experience with parent alienation syndrome.

They became good at understanding how the courts work and the law as it applied to their case. In many cases, because of excessive expenses, parents even ended up as pro per (called pro se in some states) where they were representing themselves without a lawyer.

They had a case where a forensic evaluator made a strong statement about the alienation and recommend changing legal and primary custody to the alienated parent. Some parents had to go back to the evaluator to demonstrate that his or her earlier recommendations were not working.

They persevered in demonstrating that they were rational, reasonable, and had the best interest of the child at heart.

They provided the court with an appropriate parenting plan that showed how the child would be well taken care of in their care.

They understood the nature of the problem and focused on what to do about it, even though they and their children were being victimized. (Alienated parents who got caught up in "how terrible it all is" and spent time judging the situation, went under emotionally.)

They didn't live a victim's life.

They were proactive in seeking constructive action.

They avoided adding to the problem. One father expressed it like this: "I don't know how to make it better with the mother, but I do know how to make it worse." He was one of the most successful parents I met in fighting the PAS problem because he stayed in the role of the peacekeeper.

They kept a diary or journal of key events, describing what happened and when.

They documented the alienation with evidence that was admissible in court.

They always called or showed up to pick up their children, even if they knew that the children won't be there. This was often very painful, but then they could document that they tried, when the alienator alleged that this parent had no interest in the child.

They focused on enjoying their children's company and never talked to their children about their case. They always took the high road and never talked badly about the other parent to their children. They absolutely never showed a child any court orders or other sensitive documents. They didn't let the children overhear inappropriate conversations on the telephone.

They didn't violate court orders.

They were truly decent, principled people. It was obvious that they loved their children.