Yesterday was a tough time with you but I try to keep in mind that it's not all your fault. I try to overlook the abuse I get from you. I also keep in mind that you are your mothers child first. It should never have been this way. You should have been allowed to love me, your father. You should not have been made to give your loyalties to anyone. You could have had a father and a mother. I have tried to keep in mind that you are made of half of your mom and half of me. For me to bad mouth her would say that you are half bad. I had hoped that I would never see her in you.
I really have tried to concentrate on the good that could come from not giving up on you. On not holding you responsible for the mean things that you do and say to me and your step mom and other family members when you see them.
I do see her in you and don't like being abused by you any more than I liked being abused by her. I don't like your behaviors. Your actions towards me are cruel and just plain mean at times! Yesterday was one of those times.
Our appointment with the Dr. caused additional questions for me. One of the many stories that you continue to tell him is that I wouldn't let you spend time with your friends during the Christmas Holidays you were with us. As I remember, out of the 6 nights you were with us. You spent the night with your friends one night and your friends spent the night here 3 of the other nights, You spent all day with them on several days.
I thought that you would develope a conscience. I question if you will ever fully develope a sense for telling the truth. The importance of telling the truth. A sense for helping others. A sense of importance of helping others. The way I see your outlook on life is that the world owes you. Simply put, that is not the way the world really works.
I have dismissed a lot of your undesirable behaviors as...
Guess what? I still love you and you will never have control over that.
I love you and miss you.
DAD
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
It hurts so much to reach out to someone and never have that love recipicated. Not loving someone because you have to but because it is an unconditional love. Sitting back knowing that they are making some of the hugest mistakes of their lives. No matter what we say they are jaded by their surroundings. Its even worse when it happens to a child. When they are told are things that arent true by those they think they can trust. It even sometimes becomes a double edged sword when they find out all they ever knew was a lie. What does one do when they have all the love in the world for their child and they are not allowed to give it their child. Matt this is a great thing to have started. May the peace of Christ be with u that ONLY HE can give.
Thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement.
Post a Comment