Now I know why I haven't been seeing you on our court ordered visitaation. I speculated that something was in the works to interfer with visitation. Now I know. Again I am belated by what is happening! I again hoped for the best but expected the worst. It is for good reason. I can truely understand why you make up stories and tell lies. I want you to know that I forgive you Brooke. I hope that one day you will find this blog and you will realize and know in your heart that I am your father and that I did everything I could to do right by you. You didn't have a choice of who your mom and dad were. You didn't know it was going to be us when you were born.
You deserved to have a father who could love you and guide you. You deserved to have a father who would be there for you when you needed him. I hope that you have known me long enough that you have gotten a sense of right and wrong. Your stepmom and I have decided to live our lives in which we help others less fortunate than us. I know you have seen examples of this and hope you carry that with you in your endeavors.
I didn't teach you hate! Someone other that me and people associated with me taught you that. I listened to you tell me that I was ------- psyco and that you would get a restraining order against me when you were 18 and I had the power and control to tell you I loved you anyway. You said terrible things to me in the past. I have one question for you? Would your mother or other family members approve? I know the answer. Where did you learn words like that? Where did you learn the way you talk. I do know where you learned some of it. Your mom acted the same way to me. Matthew has no idea why he hates me. I didn't teach it to him.
There are a lot of things your brother has learned. I lost him when he was 6 years old. You say he was 7 though. As if you had any real knowledge of it. I haven't taught him anything. You are right, he did disown me. I am sure he is proud of that and that he had that power. I was powerless. In order not to lose you, I had to let him go. Once the Judge ruled that Matthew would not be required to visit with me until he chose to, I lost him. I mourn that loss everyday of my life. That makes some happy. I had to concentrate on keeping you in my life and more importantly, me in yours. You were a defenseless child!
Now you aren't so defenseless are you? You aren't so innocent anymore either. You lose innocence once you willfully cross that line of being dishonest and deceitful. I pray that this isn't the norm for you.
It is getting late and I must go for now. I really have a lot scheduled for tomorrrow and need to be alert.
No matter what, I love you and miss you. Your step mom does too. Probably more than you will ever know.
When you introduced her as you step mom to other people, that was one of the best days of her life.
I love you...DAD
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