The birth of a new day...

Today your stepmom and I woke up and were laying in bed talking about all sorts of stuff. I turned on the T.V. and it was on the Today Show. Today is a new day. I got a lettle teary eyed as there was a birth of a baby being broadcasted live somewhere up north in a hospital.
I think back and remebered when you were born and that is when I got teary eyed. I remember when your brother was born too.
When you were born, I cryed as I was the happiest guy on the planet. I wanted to video tape your birth but your mom objected. I did however start taping as soon as you came out.

The way I was removed from our home I never was able to get pictures or videos or any memories of our lives together. I hope that when you see, (if you see) those home videos and pictures that you will realize how much I loved you, how proud I was to have you! How proud I was to have been responsible for bringing you into this world.

I thought that this was a forever bond between a father and daughter. Never to be tarnished or broken.

I have been systematically removed from your life as well as Matthew's. I am still in shock after all these years. I will never get over it for as long as I live. Just as I will never get over that, I will never forget what I saw when you and Matthew were born.

During the division of property with your mom, I asked the court to have your mom make copies of the pictures and videos that we took over the years. The court told her to but I suppose she felt that I shouldn't have them, so I never recieved any. The pictures I did get were with you kids torn out of the picture and only others were left in the pictures. I suppose that was the point. The handwriting was on the wall long before your mom and I divorced and that is why I stayed as long as I did. Some of my friends and family gave me their only pictures of you guys. That is probably why I like taking lost of pictures.

Your mom and I divorced. I didn't divorce you or Matthew. I pray that you two will know that in your hearts.

You are right when you say that your brother dis-owned me. How does a child know to dis-own their parent at six years old? How does a child at that age know such hatred? I could almost understand fear, if there was something to fear, but hatred? It just doesn't make sense!

This was of May 20, 2002 and this is the day the courts made a ruling that I still have difficulty comprehending how this happened.  This document is best veiwed with Picasa.

Does anyone else see anything wrong with this picture?

I have been obsessed with keeping us connected. I am afraid that this has caused part of the problems that are arising. I know no other way. As you already know I wasn't wanted as a child and have been adopted twice. As you so elequently put it, no one wanted me as a child. Well I was  not going to let that ever happen to you kids. You would never feel that way if I could help it. The courts didn't leave me options when it came to Matthew.

It was difficult trying to explain why I was able to visit you but not Matthew. How could this be? It doesn't make sense.


You are my child and I won't ever give up loving you and Matthew. I hope you will one day know the sacrifices that were made for you and your brother. The real sacrifices!


I will love you forever.

Love DAD