They are not alone...

Hi Terry,

Forgive me for the delayed reply as I am attempting to let go and not be so consumed. I have learned to step back from it all and give it to a higher power.

I am so sorry for your losses and am too, heartbroken for you and your family.

As you travel down your road in dealing with the effects of PAS, understand that you too are a victim. That was possibly one of the hardest things for me to acknowledge. I was so consumed about what it was doing to my children and how to combat the problems of PAS that I lost sight of how it was affecting me, of what I needed, after all it wasn’t supposed to be about me.

I believe that the fix will come from educating  all parents about PAS and the effects that it will have on our children.  Since educators play such important roles in our children’s lives I would think that that would be a starting point of bringing awareness to the many problems of PAS. Ultimately it is our responsibility to curb this evil by simply not accepting the things we hear parents say to or in earshot of their children or any child for that matter.  We have often told friends, acquaintances, and even strangers that that kind of bad mouthing in front of the kids is not okay! We have on many occasion offended the alienator and others. We have to do our part of what we have immediate control over.

Judges are ignorant on PAS, or are they really? After proving PAS and having professionals testify to PAS, Judges in our case did not make decisions that protected the children against it. In most instances the Judges only exasperated the problems by their rulings or (lack  of) and at times seemed to even protect the alienator.

I am the father that doesn’t have a relationship with my children and I am the author of the blog. You are welcome to vent all you want with me as I truly understand. My son is 20 and well on his way to self-destruction. I have had no relationship with him since he was 6 years old. My daughter will be 16 years old in November. Less than six months after not having contact with my daughter, she very clearly is on the same path. I have not seen my daughter now in about two years except some of her internet postings.  It saddens me that my children or any other children are subjected to such horror.

I am not sure where to start to change laws as I had been so consumed with pain that I hadn’t searched. I am sure that awareness is a start yet it doesn’t happen overnight.

Thanks for your email as it helps to be reminded that my children and I are not alone in this crisis and that there has to be change. If you email again, I will respond much quicker.

With your permission I would like to post your email on my blog. I will withhold any identifying information.

Hang in there,

Matt