Happy Mothers Day...

Happy Mothers Day to a Father who played both roles. I am grateful for having my father who cared for me and raised me from 14 years old on. He took on the role of mother and father to a child of PAS. Very early on in my life I realized that I had a mind of my own and rebelled against an abusive (both physically and mentally) mother. I am so blessed to have had a the opportunity to meet this father of mine. Just goes to show that a person doesn't have to be blood related to be a father or mother, nor a good one at that. I was adopted  by a man that was never married and has no biological children. I learned many things from him that couldn't be taught by everyone. Though my father knew that my mother was was a worthless mother/parent, he never showed his contempt for her. It took my mother forming an alliance with my children's mother in keeping my children from me that was the straw that broke the camels back. I learned compassion from my father. I learned acceptance. I figured out who she was on my own and in my own time.

My father encouraged me to maintain contact with my mother though he knew that a healthy relationship with her would be non existent. My mother died and my children's mother concealed that information from me long enough to work her agenda. My children became more fearful of me as they believed that I traveled to California from North Carolina and killed my mother. My daughter refused to eat at my home. My daughter refused to accept medicine from me when she was sick. My daughter claimed that I would not allow her to prepare her own food at my home and that she always felt dizzy and tired after eating food prepared by me. My daughter had the belief that I caused my mothers death by poisoning and she believed that this would also happen to her. This year my daughter is 16 years old. My mother died in 2002.  As a child of PAS and from past experience I know all too well where those ideas came from.

Yes, it is mother's day and I want to thank my mother for donating her body so that I would exist. Thank you mom for being who you were so that I could learn the things that would make me who I am today. Thank you for the abuse you perpetrated upon me so that I would know what it was like and it would cause me to refuse to be a parent like you were. It made me a better human being. I learned so much from you.