I am often reminded of the absence of my child(ren). Recently my child(ren's) aunt passed away and I can imagine and know the heartache that that daughters mother felt and continues to struggle with. Someone once told me that life is never the same after loosing a child. That goes for fathers as well as mothers. No one truly knows pain until they have lost a child. I do not wish it upon any parent regardless.
Those that encouraged PAS and continue to do so should never forget that there is a higher power even greater than themselves and that KARMA never forgets and may not be so forgiving. While I pray for the family and for some sort of peace for them I can't help but to be reminded of the alienation that they forced upon my child(ren). I can't help but to be reminded of the loss of my own and more importantly the children's loss. I am dead to them as they are to me. I have learned to accept those losses yet there is and always will be a great deal of inner pain.
I find comfort in knowing that I did my best to be a part of the children's lives and to play an active roll. I did my best to show them what integrity and honor was. I did the best to show them that they had two parents that loved and wanted them. I tried to hang on long enough for them to understand that they had minds of their own and could choose to have minds of their own. They had rights and had choices. I continue to assert that their mother and others that encouraged the alienation hated me more than they loved them.
I wish there was a pill to forget and maybe someday there will be but for now I will endure.
Tomorrow will start a new adventure and I can't wait!
It has been a good day.
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